Pardon my title, for some reason that line from the Aaliyah song is what I thought of, so I used it.
I'M SORRY!!! It's been an entire week since I posted, but there's a reason. A few reasons, actually, and both of them good.
#1. Twilight. Yep, that's it. It premiered this week/weekend, and the internet has been overwhelmed with interviews, pictures, and various random things concerning Kristen Stewart, who I just adore because she's kinda bitchy, and really smart; Rob, who I could just listen to allllllll dayyyyyy loooooooong!! I'm so obsessed with all things Brit, it's really ridiculous. And Nikki Reed is just so beautiful I am forced to search out flaws, which simply aren't there. She really is just gorgeous, naturally. (ugh.)
#2. New Story!!! Yes, that's right! I was sitting on the front porch, freeeeeeezing to death, and looking at the stars, finding my favorite constellations. I've always loved them, their stories, so I always look for them. Orion has always been my favorite. So, I was sitting there, looking for Orion, when a new plot line pretty much punched me in the face. It came from no where, and I love it, and I'm going to start a little outline and see what happens. But I'm pretty excited about it, so I've got that going for me, which is good. (I adore Caddyshack, sorry for the references I always make.)
I'm still continuing with my original story, but I haven't written a whole lot out this past week. I've spent more time just thinking about it, where it's leading, and a few details that are mucho importante, which I can't seem to make work the way I want. I've got no more time now, but I'll be back later with more details.
Until then...!
Showing posts with label no writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label no writing. Show all posts
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Ups & Downs
I'm feeling slightly discouraged today. Nothing huge, just the inevitable downswing that follows the initial euphoria.
Don't get me wrong, I am still feeling pretty dang good about having taken this huge step towards actually doing something with my life. Thinking about it, which I do all the time, makes me smile.
I suppose it's just me realizing that it's VERY HARD to try and start a novel with two very small children who require a ton of attention. Then there's the house that stays in a constant state of "wreck", which requires time to prevent said wreckiness from taking complete control. Oh, and my husband would probably like some small modicum of my attention as well.
These are things I've always been aware of, but the actuality of it sinks in more and more each day, when I want to sit down and lose myself in the world I'm creating, and it has to be put off for some reason or another. This is, I believe, the part in my own story where I buckle down. Which anyone who knows me will tell you, I am not good at things that require me to buckle down. That is usually the beginning of the end for me. I do not have a lot of self discipline, and unfortunately, acknowledging that fact doesn't really do anything to help. Which really seems rather unfair, I think. If I can admit I have a problem, shouldn't I get some sort of recompense? I mean,.....oh never mind what I mean. I'm a slacker way deep down, and while I have tried hard in the past few years, what I consider my actual "growing up", it's still a daily battle for me. And what self-discipline I do have goes towards raising my children so they aren't affected my the same laziness I have.
But do not lose faith, faithful readers! I am not going to walk away from this. I'm not going to put it aside and let it slip into the hazy gray underneath part of my mind, where all good ideas go to die. Well, not die really, they...sleep. And every once in a while they wake up enough to make me feel guilty for putting them there, until I lull them to sleep again. But not this time. Big words, right? Not really. Most of those other ideas were half-formed, mostly useless things to begin with, so letting them sleep isn't the biggest crime in the world. This however (my writing a book), has been a constant in my subconscious for as long as I can remember. And I'm not saying that lightly; literally as long as I can remember, my earliest years of childhood, I wanted to write. The entire time I swore I was going to be a teacher, artist, zoologist, I left it an unstated fact that somewhere in there would be a book, something written by me. To put that into the enforced coma-ward of my brain with my other sleeping dreams would be the worst crime I could commit to myself. The thought of me actually doing that kind of scares me. Well, to be completely honest, it really scares me. Because what would I be then? That would be like cutting the one thread I have left holding me to the future I've wanted my whole life. I would just float around, aimlessly, in some sort of strange purgatory. Ugh. Doesn't that sound pretty freaking scary to you?
Anyways, it's not going to happen that way. Maybe it's that same fear that drives me this time, or maybe I'm actually getting some semblance of self-discipline in my life. Maybe self0dscipline is mostly fear. I'm not really sure, being new to the whole realm of self-discipline. I'll have to sit down and think deep thoughts of how the two are related. After I write a few books. =)
So while it is tough to have to realize that I'll be sleeping less in an effort to get some real work time in (I adore sleep), I think that it's a given that something has to be given up in order to gain anything, and sleep isn't really the worst thing to lose.
Another thing that kind of bums me a little bit is that, in order to write well, to make it real to myself, I have to lose myself in that story, that world. And I can't do that now. Even when I do get the chance to write, I can't just tune out everything else. My kids need to be watched, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, and something has to be made for dinner. And in the three hour space between the kids going to sleep, and me falling asleep, I have to dedicate some of that time to my husband.
I wish it was possible to just dedicate a solid 4 hours of each day to writing. Time for me to really sink into it, learn all those small details about my character that make them so interesting.
If wishes were horses then beggar's would ride, and etc. So no pity party. Just a refreshed sense of commitment to my work, and (hopefully) willingness to lose in order to gain.
I'll leave you with this little bit of wisdom (*snicker*)
Don't get me wrong, I am still feeling pretty dang good about having taken this huge step towards actually doing something with my life. Thinking about it, which I do all the time, makes me smile.
I suppose it's just me realizing that it's VERY HARD to try and start a novel with two very small children who require a ton of attention. Then there's the house that stays in a constant state of "wreck", which requires time to prevent said wreckiness from taking complete control. Oh, and my husband would probably like some small modicum of my attention as well.
These are things I've always been aware of, but the actuality of it sinks in more and more each day, when I want to sit down and lose myself in the world I'm creating, and it has to be put off for some reason or another. This is, I believe, the part in my own story where I buckle down. Which anyone who knows me will tell you, I am not good at things that require me to buckle down. That is usually the beginning of the end for me. I do not have a lot of self discipline, and unfortunately, acknowledging that fact doesn't really do anything to help. Which really seems rather unfair, I think. If I can admit I have a problem, shouldn't I get some sort of recompense? I mean,.....oh never mind what I mean. I'm a slacker way deep down, and while I have tried hard in the past few years, what I consider my actual "growing up", it's still a daily battle for me. And what self-discipline I do have goes towards raising my children so they aren't affected my the same laziness I have.
But do not lose faith, faithful readers! I am not going to walk away from this. I'm not going to put it aside and let it slip into the hazy gray underneath part of my mind, where all good ideas go to die. Well, not die really, they...sleep. And every once in a while they wake up enough to make me feel guilty for putting them there, until I lull them to sleep again. But not this time. Big words, right? Not really. Most of those other ideas were half-formed, mostly useless things to begin with, so letting them sleep isn't the biggest crime in the world. This however (my writing a book), has been a constant in my subconscious for as long as I can remember. And I'm not saying that lightly; literally as long as I can remember, my earliest years of childhood, I wanted to write. The entire time I swore I was going to be a teacher, artist, zoologist, I left it an unstated fact that somewhere in there would be a book, something written by me. To put that into the enforced coma-ward of my brain with my other sleeping dreams would be the worst crime I could commit to myself. The thought of me actually doing that kind of scares me. Well, to be completely honest, it really scares me. Because what would I be then? That would be like cutting the one thread I have left holding me to the future I've wanted my whole life. I would just float around, aimlessly, in some sort of strange purgatory. Ugh. Doesn't that sound pretty freaking scary to you?
Anyways, it's not going to happen that way. Maybe it's that same fear that drives me this time, or maybe I'm actually getting some semblance of self-discipline in my life. Maybe self0dscipline is mostly fear. I'm not really sure, being new to the whole realm of self-discipline. I'll have to sit down and think deep thoughts of how the two are related. After I write a few books. =)
So while it is tough to have to realize that I'll be sleeping less in an effort to get some real work time in (I adore sleep), I think that it's a given that something has to be given up in order to gain anything, and sleep isn't really the worst thing to lose.
Another thing that kind of bums me a little bit is that, in order to write well, to make it real to myself, I have to lose myself in that story, that world. And I can't do that now. Even when I do get the chance to write, I can't just tune out everything else. My kids need to be watched, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, and something has to be made for dinner. And in the three hour space between the kids going to sleep, and me falling asleep, I have to dedicate some of that time to my husband.
I wish it was possible to just dedicate a solid 4 hours of each day to writing. Time for me to really sink into it, learn all those small details about my character that make them so interesting.
If wishes were horses then beggar's would ride, and etc. So no pity party. Just a refreshed sense of commitment to my work, and (hopefully) willingness to lose in order to gain.
I'll leave you with this little bit of wisdom (*snicker*)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Love Scenes Make Me Happy =)
I spent most of yesterday being upset that I couldn't write. It just wasn't happening. And my horoscope yesterday specifically said it was a good day to be artistic, especially with writing! Haha, not that I live and die by my horoscopes, but lately there's been quite a few about writing, and taking the opportunities available, so I think that's a good sign in general.
But yesterday, nothing worked out like I wanted it to. Imagine that, two kids and a messy house, and not having time for anything...who knew? =)
Once the kids finally went to sleep, I was waiting for Ryan to come home, and surfing the internet, not really with any purpose; I was debating on whether or not to try to get some stuff down. But I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, so I figured I would just try to edit some of the other stuff I'd already written.
Once again, those crazy characters grabbed my by surprise and wouldn't let me go. I spent two hours (!) writing a scene I'd been putting off, because it is so important, and I really wanted it to be perfect. I've really been procrastinating it because I didn't want to mess it up, and I wasn't sure exactly how to put what I was seeing and feeling into words.
And can I just mention that was the fastest two hours EVER! I couldn't believe it was almost midnight when I stopped. I love writing!!
But it turns out I didn't have to do anything. They told me exactly what would happen, I just had to keep up. And I'm pretty happy with what I've got so far. I haven't re-read it yet, maybe while the kids nap I can, but while I was writing, it was just laying itself out so well, I kind of felt dumb for waiting to try it.
The scene is pretty vital to my main characters, a turning point in the whole story, and the beginning of a serious conflict with one of my not-quite-main characters, which is going to be fun to get into.
So I think I've got most of that chapter down, and the way it ended it perfectly set up for the next chapter to start. I think I'm going to do that one next, just because I can see it in my head pretty well, which is a good sign. It's going to be from another character's POV I think, because I really got into her head last night...or she got into mine. She's my scheming female anti-hero of sorts, and her head is so full of twisted plots and connivances, I'm excited to see what kind of trouble she's going to cause. And believe you me, she is a trouble maker!
Yay, I'm so happy and excited still, I just wish there were a way for me to have two whole hours to myself everyday, in a room by myself, with my music playing....
Speaking of music, I've started a playlist of songs I'm listening to while I write, I might stick that up here sometime so you can hear it too, if you're interested. =)
That's all for now, it's time to go clean the house I left to the elements (kids) yesterday. Cross your fingers for me to get more down tonight!
But yesterday, nothing worked out like I wanted it to. Imagine that, two kids and a messy house, and not having time for anything...who knew? =)
Once the kids finally went to sleep, I was waiting for Ryan to come home, and surfing the internet, not really with any purpose; I was debating on whether or not to try to get some stuff down. But I wasn't really in the right frame of mind, so I figured I would just try to edit some of the other stuff I'd already written.
Once again, those crazy characters grabbed my by surprise and wouldn't let me go. I spent two hours (!) writing a scene I'd been putting off, because it is so important, and I really wanted it to be perfect. I've really been procrastinating it because I didn't want to mess it up, and I wasn't sure exactly how to put what I was seeing and feeling into words.
And can I just mention that was the fastest two hours EVER! I couldn't believe it was almost midnight when I stopped. I love writing!!
But it turns out I didn't have to do anything. They told me exactly what would happen, I just had to keep up. And I'm pretty happy with what I've got so far. I haven't re-read it yet, maybe while the kids nap I can, but while I was writing, it was just laying itself out so well, I kind of felt dumb for waiting to try it.
The scene is pretty vital to my main characters, a turning point in the whole story, and the beginning of a serious conflict with one of my not-quite-main characters, which is going to be fun to get into.
So I think I've got most of that chapter down, and the way it ended it perfectly set up for the next chapter to start. I think I'm going to do that one next, just because I can see it in my head pretty well, which is a good sign. It's going to be from another character's POV I think, because I really got into her head last night...or she got into mine. She's my scheming female anti-hero of sorts, and her head is so full of twisted plots and connivances, I'm excited to see what kind of trouble she's going to cause. And believe you me, she is a trouble maker!
Yay, I'm so happy and excited still, I just wish there were a way for me to have two whole hours to myself everyday, in a room by myself, with my music playing....
Speaking of music, I've started a playlist of songs I'm listening to while I write, I might stick that up here sometime so you can hear it too, if you're interested. =)
That's all for now, it's time to go clean the house I left to the elements (kids) yesterday. Cross your fingers for me to get more down tonight!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Slacking
So I haven't written today, and I don't think I'm going to. I went out last night, and that's always a double edged sword. On the one hand, I get to hang out with my friends, have a few drinks and dance, which I adore. On the other hand, I got four hours of sleep, and I'm always sooooo tired the next day.
Hangover=No writing...
That's enough to make me think twice about going out. Of course, my sanity is directly dependent on my time away from my kids, so maybe I'll just consider those "days after" as a day off. That sounds about right, normal people don't work seven days a week anyways...pretty funny though, that I'm considering myself as a "normal person" for that purpose alone.
On another note, I'm still excited about writing. I'm already in love with my character, and I hear conversations they have in my head. Things are definitely progressing in a great way so far. Tomorrow I'll start writing again, and I'm looking forward to that! I can't wait to see one scene particularly, between my unwilling hero and my leading lady...and another one between my unwilling hero and wanna-be leading lady...
Hmmmm....
Maybe I will write a little something today. =)
Hangover=No writing...
That's enough to make me think twice about going out. Of course, my sanity is directly dependent on my time away from my kids, so maybe I'll just consider those "days after" as a day off. That sounds about right, normal people don't work seven days a week anyways...pretty funny though, that I'm considering myself as a "normal person" for that purpose alone.
On another note, I'm still excited about writing. I'm already in love with my character, and I hear conversations they have in my head. Things are definitely progressing in a great way so far. Tomorrow I'll start writing again, and I'm looking forward to that! I can't wait to see one scene particularly, between my unwilling hero and my leading lady...and another one between my unwilling hero and wanna-be leading lady...
Hmmmm....
Maybe I will write a little something today. =)
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