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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Writer's Infidelities and Rivers

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, also known as gluttonous family day. I love eating all that food, and then eating all the left overs I said were for the next day. Right now, my house smells like Dutch Apple Pie (thank you Sara Lee), and it is DELICIOUS!!! A far cry from the smell that preceded it, cooking collards. (I'm in the south, we eat collards, deal with it.) If you know that smell, you feel my pain, and if not, well...that apple pie still smells amazing!

It actually is kind of a homey smell to me, not because my mom used to bake or anything when I was little, but just in general. Maybe it's not just the smell that makes it homey, but also the fact that the oven is warm, so it's like a cinnamon scented fire kind of. Just smells like a house should when it's cold outside-to me at least.

But something is keeping me from lounging on the couch waiting to see Rob on Leno in fifteen minutes...I feel like I'm cheating.

Not because I'll shortly be drooling over how ridiculously, adorably British and perfectly flawed Robert is. Because I now have more than one story. Strangely enough, it's kind of reminding me how I had to adjust to two kids.

You have to share the time out as equally as possible, but sometimes that doesn't work. Sometimes, the baby needs more attention, and the older one is slightly ignored. In return, occasionally you have to go out of your way with the eldest to make up for it, and in turn end up ignoring the younger. (*big sigh*)

Apparently I am unable to do anything at all without mentioning my children. It's a disease called "parenthood" and I apologize for that.

So back to the point. Writer's infidelity. Hmmm...okay. So I have this new story, and it's great. It's a great plot, no question. I know that a great writer would have huge sucess with it. I am not a great writer. I'm so new I still have that new car (writer?) smell. And while I can see it flowing like a movie from scene to scene, I can feel it, every emotion, everything, I'm scared. Because it's so perfect in my head, once I start writing it, I worry I'll screw it all up and then hate it and it will be ruined because of me. So that's one thing.

The other thing: Story 1. I, as usual, jump right into the deep end without knowing how to do more than doggy paddle. The story I have in my head for that is a lot of work. I mean, sit down, spend hours researching things, thinking long and hard over other things....just some pretty exhausting stuff. It has the potential to be a really good story, although as different from the other as night and day, but it's going to take some work.

You all remember how I feel about work, right? (see old post below if you've forgotten)

So I have a story that I need to have a pile of research on before I do too much more, and another story that I feel like I could write in one marathon 13 hour sitting, if that was possible. But it's not, and I don't think that writing a little bit in the hour here and 30 minutes there that I have free will do it justice.

Let me take a moment to explain the "rhythm and flow" of how I write. Imagine a river, nothing too big or small. The top of it is glassy and smooth, barely a ripple to show it's moving. But as you get further and further down into the water, the current gets faster and faster, until you get to the riverbed under all that water, covered with pretty stones.

So when I start to write, the beginning is the top stage. I'm just floating along, like a water lily, on top of the river. The longer I write, the deeper I get, and that current picks me up and starts to swirl me around, and the writing just flows out beautifully. That continues like a crescendo until I hit the river bed. Generally, the river bed is what happens to my mind after a long time in the current, a whole ton of caffeine, and the early hours of the day after midnight mix together. I get so much, there are so many thoughts and things firing off and exploding in my brain that there is know way for me to focus on just one intently enough to write on it, much less get all of my ideas down. That's generally when it's time for bed.

So, since I usually get only an hour, two tops, I don't have a lot of time to get down deep in that river. And I feel like if I try to write Story 2 from the top of the river, just floating, it's going to screw it up. And on the other hand, I have like, enough research for a thesis to get this really awesome story down. Ugh.

Things are great though, don't get me wrong. Not one by two stories! Tis the season! Hahaha...or maybe hohoho?

Bad jokes, sorry. I must race to my couch so I can commence drooling over Mr. Pattinson ASAP.


Sweet Caroline said...

Do you know that I want to be you when I grow up? I just LOVE LOVE LOVE how you write. Nothing exists, well, maybe Rob, but nothing else when I read your writing.

Yes, I see your issue. If you go down in the current, and ignore your kids, the seaweed, old ships, and debris block your view.

Gosh, we just need to get you down a little farther so that we all can experience the treasure chest.

Hmmmm? Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. thinking...

Sweet Caroline said...

Oh, is the book called, Infidelity River?? Sounds like a great reality show! Sorry, that was better than saying a Porn! Ooops, I am crazy tonight! You mention Rob and we all lose our self-control...

Ali said...

I seriously adore your sense of humor, I feel like we were sisters in another life. And the fact that you totally understand my rants makes me happy. =)

And your taste in celebrity crushes is impeccable if I do say so myself. ;)