A Day for Relaxed Gladness

After a week of 30 degree weather on the Outer Banks, (translated: FREEZING, for us beach-blooded people at least), today was a perfect 65 degrees, with all the sun one could want, and just a breath of breeze blowing, and a warm breeze at that. It was the type of day that makes you remember that winter doesn't last forever, that spring is really going to follow.

We've passed the shortest day of the year, each day now followed by one a little longer, a few more minutes until the sun sets behind the ocean, a few more minutes to appreciate life here on the beach.

After two weeks of holiday travel, visiting family, and two very tired children who've been off schedule for days, today seemed like a day made for people to just stop, take a deep breath, and actually enjoy the madness; at least, now that it's mostly over. A day of recuperation, and calm gladness, for lack of a better way to describe it. Feeling happy, but relaxed; sitting on the porch and enjoying the day instead of using it to get something done, and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. A wasted day that is perfectly un-wasted.

Days like today put me in a great frame of mind to write. I'm not stressed about it, or anything really; that would be near impossible in the frame of mind today induced. I know that when I sit down, even though I have no ideas at the forefront of my mind, my fingers will start going across the keyboard, and words will appear, becoming sentences, building into paragraphs, even pages.

I sat out on my porch tonight, and just let myself loose in my head, letting go of all the unintentional, and unavoidable, tensions that keep everyone grounded in their day to day lives. The lake across the street, more of a large pond really, was reflecting a porch light from a house sitting at it's far edge, gently rippling and swaying, and somehow beautiful.

For me, that reflection, and the fact that I could just sit and take it in, absorb it really, was the greatest gift I've received this year. I'm happy my family is healthy, I'm happy we could all be together as we so rarely can these days, and I'm happy that we are, for the most part, happy.

But more than any of that, I'm happy that I was given those few moments on the porch to actually realize those things, to let them sink way deep down into me, where I can truly appreciate them.

I hope the New Year brings more of the same. =)

Happy Horoscope

I like to read my horoscope on MSN.com every morning when I get on the computer to check all my mailboxes. I don't live by what they say, and I'm not super into the whole astrology thing, but I do think it's fun to read and relate things to. Plus, when they're good ones, why not use that little extra to make it through the day? I mean, seriously, every little bit helps, so I'll take what I can get.

Recently, starting about a week before I decided that writing a book while raising an autistic 2.5 year old and ridiculously active 1 year old (HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE!) was a great idea, my horoscope has talked about writing. Here's the one I have for today.

Incredible feelings of enthusiasm, optimism,

and sheer joy could fill your heart and mind today, dear Taurus.

Your life is changing in a positive way,and even though it may not be readily apparent, you're sensing it intuitively.

Romance with someone from far away could be in the cards.

If you're a writer, publishing is right around the corner.

The only downside is that occasionally you might feel panic as
if all this will disappear.

Stay focused!

So I'm feeling pretty stoked about my day now, and about life in general. =) I'm hoping that while my husband is playing his usual Sunday afternoon football game with the guys that ol' Rob Pattinson will show up on my porch with his newly shorn hair and profess his undying lust for my brain. Hey, a girl can daydream, right? Haha, okay, so that's a little far-fetched even for an Ali daydream. Still...

It's so true about the panic thing though. I often worry that if I don't write as much as possible, I'll lose it. Then I'll have to tell people I'm a loser instead of a writer. (Slightly sarcastic there, but also a little serious.) I should know better, since I've spent years ignoring my writing ability in favor of what I called "living my life" at the time, and it's still there, patiently waiting for me to utilize it. But that fear never goes away completely I don't think, at least not for me. While I don't think that writing is what defines me,..........wait. Okay, actually, I do kind of think it defines me, to a certain extent any ways. So without that, who am I? I'd just be "that girl Ali, with the really long hair", like that's some kind of amazing skill. "Oooooh, she can grow her hair really fast! Super awesome!"

Ummm....yeah. Not so much, I don't think. I'd much rather be Ali the writer with really long hair, haha!

In a tiny aside-I still feel like such a poser saying, "I'm a writer", which probably will last until I have something published. Anyway, this has been kind of rambling, and I'm not going to fix that, sorry. My cup of coffee is empty, and it's time to refill and start the daily battle of keeping the house decently un-messy. Oh, and to write of course! ;)

Elephants are my fave, for those of you who don't know, and this one is so happy!
Check out that grin! Perfect for my horoscope-induced euphoria today.

An Embarrasment of Riches...or Stories.

Still haven't seen Twilight yet. =( But I'm hoping to go Tuesday, and I'm super thrilled they're making the next one, New Moon, with a bigger budget, so that's pretty sweet.

So I've sat down to write a few times over the past few days, and the same thing keeps happening. I open one story, stare at the open space just waiting to be filled up with words, and I start thinking about my other story. For the sake of labels, we'll call the original one Story 1, and the new one Story 2. I'm super creative, I know.

So Story 1 still has tons of work, months and months of work, and I'm still feeling it the same way I was. But Story 2 keeps sticking it's head in where it's not wanted, and it keeps whispering to me to play with it instead. And I really want to, because Story 2 is completely different than Story 1, and there's just something about it....

There is no way I even want to think about attempting to write two stories at once, not for my first time. While about thirty different analogies just flew through my head, every single one of them was not really appropriate, and mostly perverted, so I'm not going to use one. Suffice it to say, two is one too many to start, and I don't want to get overwhelmed and give up. So I think I'm going to start working on Story 2 mainly, and see where that goes, and if Story 1 wants some more attention, well, I'm sure it'll let me know, and we'll go from there.

Shouldn't Have Left You (without a dope beat to step to)

Pardon my title, for some reason that line from the Aaliyah song is what I thought of, so I used it.

I'M SORRY!!! It's been an entire week since I posted, but there's a reason. A few reasons, actually, and both of them good.

#1. Twilight. Yep, that's it. It premiered this week/weekend, and the internet has been overwhelmed with interviews, pictures, and various random things concerning Kristen Stewart, who I just adore because she's kinda bitchy, and really smart; Rob, who I could just listen to allllllll dayyyyyy loooooooong!! I'm so obsessed with all things Brit, it's really ridiculous. And Nikki Reed is just so beautiful I am forced to search out flaws, which simply aren't there. She really is just gorgeous, naturally. (ugh.)

#2. New Story!!! Yes, that's right! I was sitting on the front porch, freeeeeeezing to death, and looking at the stars, finding my favorite constellations. I've always loved them, their stories, so I always look for them. Orion has always been my favorite. So, I was sitting there, looking for Orion, when a new plot line pretty much punched me in the face. It came from no where, and I love it, and I'm going to start a little outline and see what happens. But I'm pretty excited about it, so I've got that going for me, which is good. (I adore Caddyshack, sorry for the references I always make.)

I'm still continuing with my original story, but I haven't written a whole lot out this past week. I've spent more time just thinking about it, where it's leading, and a few details that are mucho importante, which I can't seem to make work the way I want. I've got no more time now, but I'll be back later with more details.

Until then...!

No Sooner Said Than Done

Precisely the reason I keep this blog. I'm getting ahead of myself again. So let me clarify.

Yesterday, less than an hour after I'd published the last post, which I'll refer to here as Doom & Gloom, I sat down, and wrote for the next two hours. Sweetness doesn't begin to cover it.

And not only did I write but I got through something I'd been putting off. A beginning. Not quite The Beginning, at least I don't think so right now, but a very important one nonetheless. And I do not like writing beginnings I do not like them Sam-I-Am, I will not eat green eggs and ham! It's so much easier for me to write the parts I love, the parts I see in my head like a movie scene. Of course, those scene's are the highlights of the story, big deal things. And while they're the meat, they need some bread on either end to make a nice fulfilled sandwich.

(Can you tell how much I seriously love food? To quote Woody Allen, I lurve food; I luff it.)

And I wrote one, almost completed it actually, before I had to save my youngest from the world's tightest hug from my oldest. He really loves her, a lot.

Back to it though, the reason I felt like I had the ability to write is because I talked myself into, I inspired myself into it, by writing the last entry. Which is pretty cool to me that I can release pressure into one outlet, freeing up space for another outlet to fill. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me, but that's how I say it in my head so I'm not changing it here. I've noticed that if I go back and try to change what I've written into something easier for someone outside of my head to understand, through each draft something of my original intention is lost. Which defeats the purpose to me.

On top of the world again, I guess, for now. Haha, well, not quite that much, but I am feeling pretty good. It gets easier each time I write to get back into my characters heads, and their world, which makes it easier to write, which makes it easier to get back into them, which....see where I'm going with this?

I had "Dance Hour" with my kids this morning, so hopefully they'll be tired enough to take a nap together and I can get some more writing in. God knows it tired me out enough for a nap.

Au revoir for now =)

PS-I'm in the process of editing my playlist slightly, adding some, removing others. Don't everyone run there at once.

HOLY COW!!!

2299.

What is that number you ask?

Why, that's the number of words I just typed out into a very rough outline of my story.

HOLY COW!!!

And I know it's 2299 because I used a counter ;)

So I put the kids down for a nap, and decided to type out what I had written so far. I always write everything by hand first. It feels natural to me to physically write, since that's how I started all those years ago. The act of writing is very important to my thinking process.

So I started typing some of my ideas and then it just took off. I had so many ideas pouring out, and for every one I got out, three more grew off of it. I basically changed the plot, for the better, with the same characters, (who I already love by the way...)

And the story just keeps growing. I'm really super excited right now, and scared to death, and loving it!!

Now I have to go back and try to make sense of it, and put it together, and flesh out some details...but it's there! The backbone of my story is there, and I'M THRILLED!!!

(Can you tell I'm still riding on the high of writing? Yeah, I thought so.)

I have to stop for now, since I'm trying to nurse my daughter and type simultaneously, which is hard enough to do here, much less to do at the frenzied pace I type when it's flowing...which reminds me I have to go interpret half of the words I used, I never go back when I'm feeling it so there are A LOT of misspellings and half words I just used for reference points.

Also, I have to come up with names for my two main characters. I want to get them right because they mean a lot to me, and right now I just refer to them as "him" and "her"...also need to come up with a name for one of the other characters, a girl who is catty and irritating and is definitely going to cause some serious trouble...and I really like her too, for some reason. =)

Okay guys, this has been a great day. To quote Miss Piggy, "yippee skippee!". I might not be back for a few days since tomorrow is Football Sunday...which means I'll have to give the computer over to my husband for Fantasy Football purposes...

but I'll try to sneak back anyways ;)

A Beginning

So I started writing last night, after my day of inspirational-Stephenie-interview reading. I'm pretty sure I've got the backbone of my story, which is pretty exciting. So I guess I'm going to try and flesh it out and see what happens. I'm unsure of anything past this point, since it's all new ground for me, but I'll say this: It felt amazing to be scribbling out pages of words in a flurry of thoughts last night. It felt incredible to see a story taking shape under my hands.

I think I can really do this. I AM doing this. My fingers are crossed, I hope yours are too!